I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
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Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
it glows. i had to have it.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
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Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
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