you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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