I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
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