That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
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He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
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You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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