You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
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threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
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Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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