I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize