i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
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I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
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some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
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