After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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