I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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