you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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