you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize