Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
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All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
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Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
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