I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize