I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
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