We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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