no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
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I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
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I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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