You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize