I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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