she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
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she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
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She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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