You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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