FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize