you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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