I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
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The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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