I could have mohawked her pubes.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
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I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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