It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
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I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
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If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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