she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
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