12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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