Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
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You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
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I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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