break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
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That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
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Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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