she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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