is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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