I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize