Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
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The dick lei will go down in squad history
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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