you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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