I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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