Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
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