You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize