Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
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