I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
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