He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize