The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize