I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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