too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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