So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize