Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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