What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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