Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
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I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
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Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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