i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
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I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
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Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
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