Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize