And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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